What Happens In Arles…..Doesn’t Necessarily Have To Stay In Arles!

So, to answer the question “What happened in Arles?”…….here goes. All was going well, us having had a very pleasant afternoon strolling around the town and people watching whilst partaking of a drop of the local wine, sitting in the sunshine, with hardly a care in The World. From then on, it was all downhill….well, for poor Roy, anyhow, in more ways than one!

Whilst savouring our grape delicacy, he had volunteered to cook dinner – not an unusual thing for him to do, it has to be said and, since tonight’s grub consisted of a simple plate of burger, chips and beans (not Team Sebo’s normal fare, I hasten to add, but we had burgers in the freezer which really HAD to be eaten!), it was a pretty easy job- or so one would imagine. Mmmmm …..

Chef had everything in hand – burgers in the pan, frying nicely, McCain Oven Chips (I know, I know, cheating again, BUT several previous attempts to cook homemade chips in Sebo’s oven have been a dismal failure!) crisping up nicely and the Heinz Baked Beans (from our Gibraltar stash) warming gently. All was looking pretty good until I uttered those fateful words “can I have a fried egg with mine, please? I fancy a runny yoke to dip my chips in” (You can take the girl outta Lancashire but you can never take Lancashire outta the girl!).

Oh, how I wish I’d kept my mouth shut and foregone that particular luxury! Chef sighed heavily and I’m pretty sure the “OK” was uttered through clenched jaws as I had now completely “fecked-up” his timing! Burgers now had to be kept warm whilst the egg was cooking – calamity! As if that wasn’t bad enough, the minute he opened the overhead locker to retrieve the much-craved for eggs, a pot of IKEA crispy onions (lovely in a salad, by the way!) fell-out, hit him on the head and, since “someone” hadn’t put the lid back on properly, said crispy onions were now scattered freely all over the hob, sink, floor and Chef’s shoulders! Well, the language which ensued from the kitchen was more prosaic than Gordon Ramsey’s on a particularly bad day in Hell’s Kitchen! Harley, on the other hand, was delighted and was up and hoovering up the debris from the floor, almost knocking Chef over in the process! Everything finally calmed down and the serving of dinner was finally announced -Thank God for that, I was starving by this stage(!). I was handed my plate and, just as I turned round to sit down, more cursing ensued – Chef had dropped his burger on the floor! Fortunately, he was quicker than Harley on this occasion AND I’d actually swept and hoovered the floor just before he started cooking so the “10 Second Rule” was invoked and further disaster averted. Phew!

I have to say, the grub was delicious and Chef calmed down enough to enjoy his too. I cleaned-up the mess in the kitchen -it was the very least I could do after all-and the rest of the evening was spent chatting away like nothing had happened, apart from me laughing and slagging Poor Chef, obviously! However, the night was still young…..

Harley needed to be “emptied” before we went to bed and it fell to Roy to take him out. Nothing unusual in that and, since I was busy uploading photos from the SD Card to my laptop, I didn’t really realise how long they’d been gone i.e longer than usual! Now that I think about it, it DID go through my mind that they’d been gone a while but I presumed Roy, being somewhat behind me in our Fitbit Workweek Hustle Challenge, was sneakily getting a few extra steps in whilst he could! How wrong I was in that assumption! When they DID finally return, he confessed he’d fallen down into a ditch, lost his shoe for a while and Harley hadn’t been of much assistance in either finding the shoe nor getting him back up! His muddied and grazed knee bore creedence to his testimony, it has to be said! Naturally, I encouraged him into the shower to clean the wound,lest it get infected, whilst at the same time, laughing ’til I cried! In fairness, he was laughing too and the way he related the unfortunate event just kept me laughing! In fact, I’m laughing as I type this!

No photos, unfortunately, since I was laughing way to much to get the SD Card out of the laptop and back into the camera!! You’ll just have to take my word for it all! I’m pretty sure there’ll be some kind of “retribution” for sharing this series of unfortunate events but, hey, what comes around goes around, right? 🙂

🤐Shhhh! Don’t let Karen know I’m writing this, I’m only a figure of fun and mirth for her.🤡 She is only tolerating me as long as I amuse her, that’s why I contrive such mishaps. I’m educated and was once respected in my previous professional life but have had my confidence eroded to the point at which I am totally reliant on her! My mobile phone has been confiscated and wallet hidden, can someone call the ‘grow a pair’ police and ask them to post me a set to ‘Team Sebo’. Stick Harley’s name on it cos she reads my post. 📪